Rose's tears
by Dafne
Summary: A love that survived for one thousand years and all of a sudden breaks apart makes a fragile girl lose her faith in life. A single red rose helps her carry out her last wish...
1. The last petal

E-mail: sailor_dafne@hotmail.com  
Homepage: www.geocities.com/sailor_dafne  
Rating: PG-13  
By: Dafne  
  
Disclaimer: Most of the characters used in this story do not   
belong to me, they are copyright of Naoko Takeuchi and lots of   
other important companies. I am not making any profit out of this,   
so please don't sue me!!!  
  
The idea of this fanfic came to me when we were reading some poems   
at literature class. I sorta got *very* inspired and then couldn't   
help but start writing. I have to warn you though that the whole   
story is kinda depressing, so you might want to have a box of   
kleenex nearby. It takes place during the time where Darien breaks   
up with Serena (yes, another break - up story). Enjoy!  
  
Rose's tears  
Chapter 1: The last petal  
  
Wednesday (6:30 PM)  
  
I sit in front of my window staring at the sunset; it's actually   
quite ironic that the sky seems so full of life while I'm trying   
not to die from grief. The different shades of purple, pink,   
yellow, and orange cast its light over my now tear stained face.  
  
I gaze down at my hands where I'm holding the one thing I treasure   
the most: your rose. I remember that when you gave it to me a   
month ago you told me that it would never die, that it would last   
forever, just as our love, but since you broke up with me it has   
been losing its once sweet smell, its bright crimson color, and,   
most of all, its unexplainable aura that seemed to entrance   
whoever dared look at it even if it was for just a split second.   
  
It hasn't been hard to notice that the supposedly immortal flower   
withers more and more every time I cry, and since I have being   
doing so quite frequently for nearly two weeks, it now looks old   
and far from beautiful. I suddenly notice that since I haven't   
been able to stop the flow of tears, the rose, having lost   
everything else, has only been able to keep one petal from falling   
down.  
  
Once again, as I recall every cold word you told me on that   
fateful day, feelings of sadness, loneliness, anger, betrayal, and   
pain invade my soul. I tighten my grip on the rose's stem, making   
its thorns slash through my delicate skin. I can feel a warm   
liquid flowing all over my hands, but instead of trying to stop it   
I simply grasp the flower even tighter.  
  
The tiny wounds are now burning, but not nearly as much as my   
heart. You've broken it into million pieces that can't be put   
together again, and somehow I know this stab won't heal, it will   
bleed until it drains every bit of energy I've got, little by   
little, to the point where I can't bear it anymore and life   
escapes from my grasp.  
  
The vital fluid of life keeps gushing out of my body and I feel   
myself weaken. As I stare at the fallen blood - covered petals,   
dizziness overcomes me. I fell limply to the ground and the last   
thing I see before darkness envelops me is the remaining petal   
drop to my carpet...  
  
To be continued...  
  
Last revised: Monday July 2nd, 2001. 4:19 PM  



	2. Reflections

E-mail: sailor_dafne@hotmail.com  
Homepage: www.geocities.com/sailor_dafne  
Rating: PG-13  
By: Dafne  
  
Standard disclaimer applied.  
  
Rose's tears  
Chapter 2: Reflections  
  
Wednesday (6:35 PM)  
  
Chibi - Usa ran happily up the stairs. As soon as she reached   
Usagi's room she opened the door and gasped at what she saw. An   
unconscious Usagi laid sprawled on the floor next to her window.   
As she neared the limp body she noticed that a blood covered stem   
rested by her side, several rose's petals (equally stained) were   
scattered around her, and the carpet had red spots all over it. It   
didn't take long for Chibi - Usa to discover the source of all   
this mess: both of Usagi's hands had various tiny wounds which,   
despite their seemingly harmless size, were uncontrollably   
shedding fresh blood.  
  
The little girl could not move nor talk for fear had possessed her   
whole being, she could only stare wide - eyed at the scene   
displayed before her. After a few minutes she finally found her   
voice and ran out the door. She could be heard throughout the   
entire house shouting at the top of her lungs "Auntie Ikuko!!!!"   
  
*****  
  
(6:20 PM)  
  
I hate myself so much, how could I possibly hurt her? But I didn't   
have a choice, now, did I? I'd never forgive myself if anything   
happened to her, and if I stay near her she will die, and that I   
cannot bear. Sure, it's painful to be away from her, but at least   
I know she's alive. Besides, I'm sure she'll get over it and find   
someone else that truly deserves her love...  
  
This last thought brings to my mind images of Usako being held by   
a complete stranger and, not surprisingly, I start to get jealous   
of this faceless man who will sooner or later replace me. I shake   
the feeling off and decide to use my reason instead. "Remember   
that you are doing this to protect her. There's no other way" I   
say softly, trying to reassure myself. Yet... why do I feel as if   
I have done the wrong thing? I've tried to keep myself busy to   
avoid thinking of her, but it's to no avail. I can't seem to get   
that crucial day out of my mind and I keep recalling it over and   
over again as if it had been just yesterday...  
  
***Flashback***  
  
I was sprawled on the floor helping Chibi - Usa with her homework   
when suddenly I heard the doorbell ringing. Tiredly I stood up and   
said "Finish that problem while I go and see who is it, ok?" the   
little pink-haired girl nodded and continued with her work. I   
smiled down at her and then added "I'll be right back." I headed   
towards the door and when I opened it I found Usako standing right   
in front of me. *Oh God, please... not now* I thought. I was   
shocked, my mind was suddenly overflowed by emotions, and I didn't   
know what to do. I felt my eyes fill up with tears and my whole   
body started to tremble. I quickly realized what I was doing and   
managed to repress my feelings placing a hard - looking face, I   
couldn't allow her to know how I really felt. Fortunately she   
didn't seem to notice my first reaction.  
  
She smiled shyly at me and said "Mamo-chan, I need to talk to   
you," then added uncertainly "may I come in?"  
  
I didn't answer, I just opened the door a little bit wider and   
walked in my apartment again, leaning on a wall where the shadows   
hid my face strategically.  
  
She followed me and closed the door behind her.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked emotionlessly. Actually I knew   
perfectly well why she had come, but since I desperately wanted to   
finish the conversation as soon as possible, what better way than   
to go direct to the point?  
  
"Mamo-chan, why did you break up with me?" she asked, trying to   
hold back tears. Her usually loud, cheerful, and steady voice was   
now ragged, filled with pain, and barely above a whisper.  
  
Finally, the question I'd been dreading for the last 2 days. At   
first I couldn't reply, but after a while I answered in such a   
cold way I even surprised myself "I don't love you anymore,   
Usagi".  
  
I'll never forget her reaction: her beautiful blue eyes shimmered   
with unshed tears and her lower lip began to tremble with emotion.   
At that moment all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and tell   
her that it wasn't true, that she was my life, my one and only   
love. I wanted to spill out everything about the awful dreams I   
had been having, but somehow I managed to hold back.   
  
She smiled sadly and closed her eyes before lowering her head. "Oh   
Mamo-chan," she pleaded softly "I promise I'll change. I'll start   
taking things more seriously, I won't be a crybaby anymore, I..."  
  
I couldn't let her go on, so I interrupted her in mid-sentence   
"Don't you understand, Usagi? I don't care about you anymore!" I   
yelled at her.  
  
She visibly flinched under my hateful words, but quickly recovered   
her strength and replied calmly "You know what, Mamoru?" she asked   
and I winced inwardly, already missing the endearment with which   
she usually addressed me. "I don't believe you" I was stunned by   
her answer, but since she didn't seem to notice the bewildered   
look on my face I just stood paralyzed and let her continue. "You   
must remember that you once were Prince Endymion and that I was   
Princess Serenity. Our love has lasted for centuries, it just   
can't end like this. We are soul mates, we were destined for each   
other even before we were born".  
  
I just wished this exchange would come to an end, because I was   
starting to lose all of my willpower. *Oh Usako, why do you have   
to be so adorable?, you're just making this more difficult for me*   
I thought. Lacking of a better way to let out my pent up   
frustration, I pounded my fist on the wall and continued with the   
charade "How many times do I have to repeat this to you, Usagi? I   
don't love you anymore!!! I don't care if we were engaged a   
million years ago, I don't want to be bound to you just because of   
what happened in the past, that's over now, we're through!!!"  
  
That did it, the tears she had been holding back for so long were   
now flowing freely down her flushed cheeks. As I watched her, pain   
invaded my whole being for I couldn't stand to see her cry,   
especially when I knew I had been the cause of her suffering. My   
very own words had pierced through my heart and apparently they   
had had the same stinging effect on her, only much more stronger.  
  
The moment she looked up at me my already bruised heart shattered   
to a million pieces. The joyful girl that had once hit me with a   
test paper had now been replaced by a depressed and devastated   
young woman with bloodshot eyes and a tear stained face.  
  
She looked around the room until her eyes fixed on a pair of small   
shoes. I could clearly see her features fill up with anger and   
even more woe, if that were possible "Chibi - Usa is here, isn't   
she?" she demanded. I just lowered my head. "It's because of her,   
isn't it? You prefer to be with her rather than with me. You love   
her, don't you?!"  
  
Where did she get such an idea? How could she think something like   
that? Usako is and will always be my one and only love *But how   
can you expect her to know that when you're treating her like   
dirt? You can't really blame her, can you Mamoru?* a part of my   
mind chastised emphatically, but the other half replied just as   
vigorously *But that's not the point, I mean, Chibi Usa's just a   
kid! Sure, I love her, but not as she thinks, she is just like a   
little sister to me*  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, Usagi" was my only response to her   
inaccurate suggestion.  
  
"Ok, I understand, Mamoru" she said in between sobs "I'm so sorry   
for making you waste your time, I promise I won't bother you   
anymore. Good - bye, my love" she said this last two words so   
softly I almost didn't hear them.   
  
Trying to suppress the urge to just take her in my arms and   
whisper soothing words in her ear, I clenched my fists tightly and   
stood paralyzed, watching as she turned around and ran out the   
door crying heartbreakingly. As soon as she was gone I pounded my   
already whitened left fist on the wall and cursed myself. Suddenly   
I realized someone was behind me. I turned around to face Chibi -   
Usa. She ran up to me and immediately broke down sobbing. She said   
that everything that had happened was because of her fault, but I   
assured her that she had nothing to do with it.   
  
After she had calmed down we returned to my bedroom and finished   
her assignment. She left about an hour later.  
  
When I found myself alone I finally gave in and broke down   
sobbing, trying to get rid of all the grief that was beginning to   
tear me apart.   
  
***End of Flashback***  
  
Since then, every single night I've cried my heart out until I   
give up to a restless slumber, just to wake up the next morning   
bathed in sweat because of the frightening nightmares that have   
been haunting me all these weeks. I was hoping that at least they   
would stop bothering me after breaking-up with Usako, but quite   
ironically they have only become more vivid, a fact that makes me   
wonder for about the hundredth time if I have done the right   
thing.  
  
I'm now standing at my balcony admiring the sunset's beauty. It   
won't be long before the sky is illuminated by millions of   
twinkling stars and the soft peaceful glow of the Moon. As I think   
of the latter I cannot help but feel a hollow in my heart, for I   
am afraid I will never be able to enjoy its princess' warmth, her   
love, her carefree nature, her smile, her hugs, her kisses... Oh   
dear God, I miss her so much, I NEED her!!! Why is this happening   
to me? Why is this happening to US? What have we done to deserve   
so much grief? Why is something always attempting to keep us   
apart? Was it not our destiny to be together?   
  
Suddenly all my thoughts fly away as I feel a sharp pain cut   
through my whole body. I can barely breath and I start to tremble   
uncontrollably.   
  
A few minutes later the agony starts to go away, but I feel as   
though half of my soul is leaving with it as well. A dreadful   
thought assaults my mind and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with fear.   
"Oh God, please tell me it's not true, tell me I'm wrong, tell me   
she's all right" I pray silently.  
  
(9:30 PM)  
  
I jump in surprise when the phone starts ringing. Slowly I walk   
into my living room and pick up the receiver.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Ma- Mamoru?" asks a trembling voice.  
  
"Rei-chan? What is it?" I ask very concerned, her tone of voice   
tells me that something is pretty wrong and I am afraid I already   
know what it is.  
  
"Mamoru," she repeats in between sobs "you have to come   
immediately, U- Usagi...." her voice breaks down and, not being   
able to finish her sentence, she starts crying uncontrollably.  
  
I can't think clearly for my mind is in a whirlwind. I can feel my   
legs faltering and a few seconds later I find myself on my knees.  
  
"Wha...what's wrong with Usako?" I stammer.  
  
I hear her gasp in surprise, and I do not blame her for it. I   
assume that all the girls have noticed that ever since I broke up   
with Usako I have been treating her pretty badly, therefore I have   
never called her that way for the last two weeks. *Well, at least   
not in public...*  
  
When she finally finds her voice she only manages to say "Usagi..."   
and then stops. Now I'm getting nervous. If what has happened to   
my Usako has left the fierce Senshi of Fire speechless, it must be   
something quite serious. After a few nerve-wracking seconds she   
takes in a deep breath and continues "Usagi... is dying"  
  
To be continued...  
  
Last revised: Monday July 2nd, 2001. 5:59 PM  



	3. At the hospital

E-mail: sailor_dafne@hotmail.com  
Homepage: www.geocities.com/sailor_dafne  
Rating: PG-13  
By: Dafne  
  
Standard disclaimer applied.  
  
Rose's tears  
Chapter 3: At the hospital  
  
Wednesday (6:35 PM)  
  
I was surrounded by a dense and cold darkness. I could no longer   
feel my body, but I was still aware of my warm blood flowing out   
of me.  
  
I had lost track of time but I figured out just a couple of   
minutes had gone by when I heard someone's footsteps.  
  
The stranger was approaching me, and when he came next to me he   
froze. It didn't take me long to realize that, whoever the   
intruder was, he was utterly shocked to find me lying on the floor   
bleeding uncontrollably.  
  
He ran out of my room and started yelling desperately at the top   
of *her* lungs. I could recognize that voice anywhere... it was   
Chibi - Usa.  
  
Soon after, I heard several people dashing towards my room. When   
they arrived, all the consciousness I had managed to retain   
slipped out of my mind and though I noticed their ragged voices   
were full of worry, I couldn't make out their words...  
  
*****  
  
"Usagi, dear, what happened to you?" cried Mrs. Tsukino, tears   
already flowing down her face. "Please, darling, wake up!" she   
said while hugging her frail daughter.   
  
"I'll go and call an ambulance" stated Mr. Tsukino as he turned   
around and walked out of the room. He was apparently the only one   
that had remained calm, but nobody knew about the conflict within   
his soul.  
  
Ikuko and Chibi - Usa were kneeling by Usagi's side sobbing   
mournfully while Shingo was standing at the door watching the   
sentimental scene. He couldn't move, from the moment he caught   
sight of his sister he just paralyzed. With the scarlet blood   
contrasting her ivory skin she looked just like a corpse. He would   
never admit it openly, but he loved her with all his heart and he   
just couldn't stand to see her in such a dreadful condition.  
  
About ten minutes later an ambulance parked in front of the   
Tsukino's. Out of the van came two strong men carrying a hospital   
trolley.   
  
Kenji was already waiting for them, so they quickly climbed up the   
stairs and went into the girl's room. They lifted Usagi   
effortlessly and placed her on the bed. 5 minutes later they had   
already carried her out of the house and into the back of the van.  
  
As soon as her mother settled herself on a chair beside her   
daughter, they were on their way to Juuban's General Hospital.  
  
(6:20 PM) Hikawa Shrine  
  
I've always had the gift to read someone else's mind, but since my   
grandfather insisted in my developing it even more I've practiced   
everyday and now I know how to interfere with anyone's thoughts.   
However, there are some people (including me) who have learned how   
to shut up their minds so no one can enter, not even I.  
  
I was quite surprised when 2 weeks ago Usagi told me she wanted to   
learn how to read somebody else's mind as well as how to lock up   
her own. At first I thought she was just kidding, but when I saw   
the determined look in her eyes I knew she wasn't.  
  
I was even more flabbergasted when I found out she was a very fast   
learner, for she mastered both aspects in just 3 days, a feat that   
I had fully accomplished after nearly 5 years of practice!  
  
Since that day, the girls and I have noticed a great change in   
her, she's not the Usagi we used to know anymore. I'm not   
complaining about her attitude, actually she has become more   
mature and responsible: she doesn't arrive late at school, she   
does her homework everyday, her grades have improved a lot, she is   
no longer a crybaby, and she has even learned how to eat like a   
civilized person. From the outside she seems to be the same   
cheerful and loving girl, but if you take a more careful look at   
her you would realize she has lost that particular sparkle in her   
eyes, the one thing that could brighten anybody's day just by   
staring at it.  
  
She told us about her break - up with Mamoru and I have no doubt   
that that is the cause of her strange behavior, but as days go by   
she gets worse, and now I'm seriously worried.  
  
I'm sitting in front of the sacred fire trying to concentrate;   
I've been trying to enter Usagi's mind to see if there's anything   
I can do to help her, but she always has it locked up.  
  
I remain this way for a few more minutes until I finally feel her   
defenses weaken. Seconds later her mind is entirely opened for my   
assault. I start to scan through her thoughts and the only thing   
I'm able to see is sorrow, nothing else. I now realize that she   
has lost the will to live, but I won't let her die, I'll get her   
back no matter what.   
  
I know we're always fighting, but that's just a façade for she's   
my very best friend, and she knows it. No one could ever imagine   
how much I love her, she's like a sister to me and I don't want to   
live in a world without her. *No Usagi, you're not going to leave   
us alone! You're not going to give up just like that, you'll   
overcome this situation and continue with your life, do you   
understand me?!* I yell at her mentally.  
  
Suddenly, almost as if she were answering my call, I sense that   
the grief within her starts to get stronger to such an extent that   
it actually reaches my body. I immediately stop examining her   
emotions. Since I don't dare to invade her mind again I just keep   
imagining the worst...  
  
About an hour and a half later I hear the phone ringing. I walk   
over to it and pick up the receiver. Not being able to contain my   
dreadful concerns I stammer "He... hello?"  
  
From the other side I hear an all too familiar voice... "Rei? Is   
that you?"... Chibi - Usa's.  
  
"Yes, Chibi - Usa. What's the matter?" I ask.  
  
"Well... it's hard to explain..." she begins, but stops abruptly.   
It's actually not hard to realize that she is hesitating whether   
she should tell me or not, but since I'm not one to give up so   
easily when I want to find out something, I urge her on.  
  
"What is it Chibi - Usa? Is something wrong?"  
  
"Actually it's not something, it's someone..." she answers. I can   
feel my blood freezing and my body begin to tremble   
uncontrollably. A few moments later I realize I'm paralyzed to the   
point where I cannot even move a muscle. I hold my breath and   
since I can't say anything I let her continue "U... Usagi is... is at   
the hospital."  
  
I knew it, I knew something was utterly wrong with Usagi. I   
quickly ask Chibi - Usa about Usagi's condition, but since she   
doesn't know exactly what happened to her, I decide to find out   
for myself. I gather up the information I need and head to   
Juuban's General Hospital at once.  
  
(8:15 PM)  
  
When I arrive to the hospital's lobby I bump into Makoto, Ami, and   
Minako. By their appearance I can tell they're as worried as I am.   
  
  
We ask the receptionist for Tsukino Usagi's room, but since we are   
only 16 years old she doesn't want to give us any information.   
Makoto and Minako are yelling like madwomen, looking as though   
they're going to kill the poor lady. Meanwhile Ami and I try to   
convince the rest of the nurses to see if any of them could allow   
us the entrance.  
  
Fortunately enough I spot Mr. and Mrs. Tsukino as they come out of   
the cafeteria, both of them holding a mug of steaming coffee   
between their hands. Mr. Tsukino talks to the woman and she   
finally agrees to let us in.  
  
We head towards the elevator and as soon as we're all in Mr.   
Tsukino pushes the button that leads to the 3rd floor.  
  
As soon as the metallic doors open we start walking through the   
aisle. We reach room number 306 and just when we're about to   
enter, a masculine voice stops us.  
  
"Wait" he looks at his blotting pad and then asks "Are you Tsukino   
Usagi's relatives?" Mr. and Mrs. Tsukino quickly nod their heads.   
The girls and I look at each other and without saying a word we   
silently agree to our unspoken question, we give the doctor an   
affirmative gesture. He seems to understand our desperation so he   
only smiles at us and says:  
  
"In that case, please follow me".  
  
We do as he requests. He walks down the aisle and when he reaches   
the end of it he turns to the right.   
  
Two nurses are at a reception desk, however they don't pay   
attention to us because they're attending a young woman. In front   
of them there's a small waiting room confined by 3 bare white   
walls. In the middle there's a black leather sofa for 4 people   
and, resting on the other two walls, 2 more that stand only for 2.   
At the center of the 3 pieces of furniture there's a mahogany   
table with a glass on top of it for protection. As a final touch   
there are several plants placed on both corners of the room that   
give the latter a more cheerful and comfortable look.  
  
With a movement of his hand the doctor silently encourages us to   
sit down. The girls and I choose the largest couch while Mr. and   
Mrs. Tsukino decide to take the one to our left.  
  
As soon as we're all settled the doctor clears his throat before   
beginning his speech. "When you brought your daughter a while ago"   
he says, addressing Kenji and Ikuko "I thought there was nothing   
important to worry about, that you had come here in vain because   
all I could see were some insignificant bleeding wounds on both of   
her hands." He stops in order to look at the Tsukino's reaction.   
It's obvious they are getting pretty worried, but they're also   
determined to find out the truth no matter how painful it may be.   
The doctor sighs and continues more carefully and softly. "But   
even after giving her the treatment for such small bruises, they   
just wouldn't stop bleeding. We have already tried every possible   
method that we could think of to close the injuries, but it looks   
as though nothing can cease the bloodshed. Thus, I am afraid that   
if your daughter doesn't have a blood transfusion in the next few   
hours she's going to slowly bleed to death."  
  
At the doctor's last words my eyes open wide. I can't believe what   
he's saying and as I turn to look at the girls I notice that   
they're probably thinking the same thing, for they are just   
staring at the doctor with their mouths hanging open and their   
eyes almost out of its sockets. Mrs. Tsukino is crying   
uncontrollably and Mr. Tsukino is trying to comfort her   
unsuccessfully, his gaze fixed on a seemingly nonexistent spot of   
the wall in front of him.  
  
For a while the only thing that can be heard throughout the room   
is Mrs. Tsukino's weeping, other than that everything is silent,   
making the atmosphere tense.   
  
When the doctor considers we've finally come out of our first   
shock, he surprises us once again with an unexpected question.  
  
"Mr. Tsukino, do you happen to suffer from hemophilia?"   
  
To be continued...  
  
Last revised: Monday July 2nd, 2001. 7:56 PM  



	4. Hopelessness

E-mail: sailor_dafne@hotmail.com  
Homepage: www.geocities.com/sailor_dafne  
Rating: PG-13  
By: Dafne  
  
Standard disclaimer applied.  
  
Please read the AN at the end. Thank you.  
  
Rose's tears  
Chapter 4: Hopelessness  
  
Wednesday (8:30 PM)  
  
"Mr. Tsukino, do you happen to suffer from hemophilia?"   
  
Kenji tears his gaze away from the wall and turns to stare at the   
doctor with his brows furrowed and an understandable bewildered   
look in his eyes "I beg your pardon?"  
  
"I know you're shocked, Mr. Tsukino, but I assure you that the   
whole staff working at this hospital is even more confused by your   
daughter's disease"  
  
"But why would you want to know if I have hemophilia? What does   
that have to do with my daughter?"  
  
Before he can continue asking questions, Ikuko cuts him off with   
one of her own "And most importantly, what do you mean by saying   
that my daughter has a disease? She only cut herself, she's not   
sick."  
  
The doctor sighs while running his fingers through his disheveled   
brown hair and then looks at her pitifully before continuing with   
his explanation. "Well, Mrs. Tsukino, since we haven't been able   
to stop your daughter's bleeding we have come to the conclusion   
that she must have a disorder related to her blood's coagulation.   
It might not be hemophilia, but since the rest of hemorrhagic   
illnesses that we know of couldn't possibly be the cause of such   
an abundant and incontrollable blood loss, I'm afraid that   
hemophilia type A is the only option we are left with."  
  
It is at this moment that Ami decides to share her medical   
knowledge with the doctor "Even so, I thought that hemophilia was   
an hereditary disease which makes itself present from the very   
beginning. So how could Usagi suffer from it if she has never had   
any problems before?" she asks with her brows furrowed in   
confusion, an expression that manages to make me smile despite   
myself. *Dear old Ami! Always trying to find a reasonable motive   
for everything.*  
  
With his attention now focused on my blue-haired friend, the   
doctor stays silent for a while, apparently looking for the right   
words to say, before replying to her question "I will not lie to   
you, young miss, and say that that is not true, but since this is   
a unique case all I can tell you is that, at this point, we do not   
want to discard the possibility that somehow her genetic   
information did not mean to set off this sickness unless a certain   
biological or chemical detonator presented itself. Of course this   
is merely a theory, but for now all we can do is come up with   
hypothesis that might lead us to understand miss Tsukino's current   
situation."  
  
"And why do you need to know if Mr. Tsukino is an hemophilic?   
Isn't it women who transmit this particular ailment?"  
  
"Well, that is partially true..." he begins, but stops mid-sentence   
as soon as he realizes that this has practically become a   
dialogue; besides, I suppose that our bewildered faces clearly   
show him that the rest of his listeners do not seem to have as   
much knowledge as Ami. With an apologetic smile on his lips he   
starts to explain what I assume my intellectual friend already   
knows "You see, hemophilia is classified among those sicknesses   
related to sex..." trying not to laugh at the reaction of both   
Tsukino's to this last statement, the doctor holds up his hands to   
keep them from saying anything before he finishes speaking "...which   
in other words means that this particular disorder is transmitted   
by one of the two sexual chromosomes, namely the X chromosome. As   
you probably know men have the combination XY, while women have an   
XX pattern, therefore a woman may carry the disease without   
suffering from it because the other X chromosome invalidates it,   
but a man that inherits the altered X chromosome will undoubtedly   
develop this sickness"  
  
"So basically the reason why you're asking if Mr. Tsukino suffers   
from hemophilia is because the only way a woman can acquire this   
ailment is if the father is an hemophilic and the mother a   
carrier, am I right?"  
  
It is after this last intervention that the doctor finally smiles   
at Ami in obvious admiration of her cleverness "That's right young   
lady" however, his smile quickly turns into a frown when he   
resumes his explanation "But of course that's only theoretically..."  
  
"What do you mean?" asks Mako-chan.  
  
Letting his breath out in a sigh the doctor continues in a softer   
tone of voice "Well, you see, when hemophilia was still considered   
a mortal illness the idea of hemophilic women's existence was   
inconceivable, because men with this ailment usually died at a   
very young age, which obviously meant they didn't get a chance to   
get married. However, with the evolution of medicine procedures   
hemophilic men can practically live as normal people, and yet, up   
till now there has never been a case of hemophilia in a woman;   
even though there could be several justifications for this, most   
physicians strongly believe that since a woman with this disease   
would need to have both of her sexual chromosomes affected, an XX   
combination would be mortal; if by any chance a baby with this   
characteristics were conceived, it would most likely die inside   
her mother's womb or during birth."  
  
Gathering up my courage I decide to ask what I suppose everyone is   
wondering at this very moment "So you think Usagi might be an   
exception?"  
  
"Well, it's possible. Besides, if we take into account what the   
young lady so helpfully pointed out" he says, motioning to the now   
blushing Ami "it is very likely that she got the chance to live   
because she was not meant to develop the sickness in normal   
conditions"  
  
"And what if I told you that I do not have hemophilia?" inquires   
Mr. Tsukino with a distressed look painted all over his face.  
  
Mirroring his expression, the doctor rubs his temples as if a   
headache had suddenly overcome him. "I was afraid you'd say that..."   
he pauses for a while and then looks up at Kenji with a reassuring   
look in his eyes, although there is a small hint of uncertainty   
within them "...still, there is a remote chance that you may have   
one of the two less dangerous types of hemophilia or at least some   
sort of disorder in your blood's components that could explain   
your daughter's strange hemorrhage"  
  
"But... even if that was true, wouldn't I have already noticed   
something strange? I mean, I couldn't have lived so many years   
without me having some sort of complication. It just doesn't make   
sense."  
  
Before replying, the doctor takes a deep breath as if trying to   
gather enough courage to speak "I admit it is quite unlikely, but   
it wouldn't be too ridiculous to consider the possibility that if   
you indeed have some sort of alteration in your blood, it might be   
so insignificant that you never thought of its effects as nothing   
more than the usual nose-bleeding or careless contusion."  
  
"Well, then I guess we must wait for the test's results." Kenji   
says softly with a strange mixture of hope and despair written all   
over his face; however, when he suddenly furrows his brows, this   
look quickly turns into one of confusion "But that only takes care   
of my case. What about my wife? If my daughter suffers from   
hemophilia as you first suggested, wouldn't she have to be a   
carrier?"  
  
"Well, since there is no way of knowing that I am assuming she   
is." then, addressing Ikuko, he continues "Even so, I would also   
like to perform some tests on you, Mrs. Tsukino."  
  
Ikuko nods her head absent-mindedly, staring off into space, but   
she suddenly comes out of her reverie and turns to look at the   
doctor, her features doing nothing to conceal her apprehension   
"And once we know what is Usagi's disease...?" she asks, letting the   
sentence trail off and yet managing to make her meaning clear.  
  
Running trembling hands through his hair, he replies in a soft and   
clearly hesitant tone of voice "I wish I were the bearer of good   
news, but I'm afraid it is my job to tell you all the truth.   
Finding out miss Tsukino's illness will only allow us to make more   
accurate hypothesis, but hypothesis nonetheless. As I already told   
you, the whole staff working at this hospital is clueless   
regarding Usagi's condition, and even if we do find what this   
strange sickness is we would still have to find out a way to cure   
or at least control it." he stops to take a deep breath and then   
continues "I know it is not a very appealing idea to think that   
miss Tsukino is suffering from a lethal type of hemophilia, and   
yet this is probably the most promising option because then we   
would at least be certain that the wounds will heal after a period   
of time, even if it's still indefinite; meanwhile we can perform   
blood transfusions hoping that her body won't reject them."  
  
"In other words, you're simply making assumptions in the dark?"   
asks Ami, barely able to contain her alarm.  
  
The doctor visibly cringes "Well, to put it out bluntly, yes."  
  
Immediately after this most disturbing confession, a dreadful   
silence falls all over the room so that everyone is left alone   
with their own thoughts. I, for one, cannot get over the fact that   
my dearest friend's life is at stake. I don't want to accept that   
Usagi might not be able to cheer us up with her comforting words   
and kind smile anymore. Besides, I will certainly miss our tongue-  
wars; as I recall the latter I cannot help but allow a smirk to   
lift the corners of my lips, however, it is quickly wiped out of   
my face the moment I remember what started this reminiscing in the   
first place.  
  
In an attempt to keep my violet eyes from shedding even the   
slightest tear, I clench my fists tightly until I can feel the   
blood draining out of them. Nevertheless, my efforts are quite   
useless for two rebellious drops of salt water make their way down   
my cheeks. Seeing that there is no use in trying to hide my   
feelings I decide to let out all of my pent-up frustration: I   
pound both of my now whitened fists on the couch and stand up,   
staring intently at the doctor's stunned face. Then, before I know   
it, I start shouting at him "Excuse me, but I'm not going to stay   
with my arms folded waiting for the worst! I am not willing to   
watch my friend die just because you people cannot figure out   
what's wrong with her. You ARE going to find the cure for Usagi's   
disease, am I right doctor?" I ask, daring him to contradict me.  
  
The doctor's wide-opened eyes are staring at me dumbfounded and he   
stays that way for quite a while before finally recovering his   
self-control. "I'm sorry miss," he says "but I believe that   
doesn't depend on me. Let me assure you that right now our   
scientists are working very hard on this particular case; we are   
all doing our best, but I don't think we'll be able to achieve   
what you're asking for in such a short period of time. Anything is   
possible, I'm aware of that, but at this moment we can't rely on   
luck, miracles, or fate, nor we can challenge science. So,   
unfortunately, for the time being the only thing we can do is wait   
and hope everything goes well."  
  
While he was speaking my tears didn't stop rushing out of my eyes,   
therefore they're now swollen and my vision is a blur. "Is that   
all?" I ask him, containing my ragged sobs and trying to sound as   
calm as possible.  
  
He looks at me with compassion and says "I'm afraid it is."  
  
I suddenly feel as if I'm losing all my strength; my legs begin to   
stagger, but before I collapse to the floor Mako-chan and Minako-  
chan grab me by the arms to give me support. Then they help me   
make my way towards the couch to sit and calm down.   
  
As soon as I settle myself I cry my heart out on Makoto's shoulder   
while she strokes my hair comfortingly. I can tell the girls are   
saying words of encouragement, but I'm too overwhelmed by today's   
painful events that I really don't pay attention to them. However,   
I do notice that they're crying too...  
  
After a while, I finally manage to get a hold of my emotions,   
however my eyes are still burning and I can feel a lonely teardrop   
running down my cheek. I push Makoto gently in order to get out of   
her soothing embrace and then I stand up and wipe my tears away,   
before walking towards the doctor.   
  
When I'm about two feet away from him I offer him my hand. He   
looks down at it and then back at me with a confused look on his   
face. "Sorry for my rudeness, but I guess I wasn't prepared for   
this news. I'm sure you'll do everything you have at hand to help   
my friend. By the way, my name's Hino Rei" I say as I attempt to   
smile a little bit.  
  
He smiles back at my sudden politeness and friendliness and then   
shakes my hand firmly "I'm Dr. Ohara, at your service miss Hino"   
he says.  
  
I nod "Nice to meet you Dr. Ohara. Now... can we see Usagi?"  
  
"Of course, I'll escort you to her room. Follow me."  
  
*****  
  
(8:20 PM)  
  
When I open my eyes I find myself lying on a bed that is obviously   
not mine. I turn my gaze away from the white ceiling to look at my   
new surroundings, whipping my head from side to side trying to   
memorize each and every little detail. To my right there's a small   
bedside table with a metal tray on it that has several medicine   
bottles, tablets, a glass and jug full of water, and finally the   
one thing I fear the most (even more than thunder) and makes me   
shiver just by the mention of it: a syringe. By now I've already   
figured out I'm in a hospital's room.  
  
Frowning in confusion at this information I continue to examine my   
chamber. Also to my right but farther away there's a big window   
that leads to a balcony decorated by dozens of beautiful plants   
and flowers**. I turn my head away from this lovely sight to   
direct my gaze towards the TV set that is hanging from the top of   
the right corner ahead of me.  
  
Once familiarized with this disturbingly white and somewhat   
sinister panorama, I try to recall what could have brought me   
here. At first it seems as though there is a gap in my mind, but   
as soon as I feel the bandages on both of my hands everything   
comes back to me.  
  
I do not have to look down to know that the cloth trying to stop   
the flow of red liquid is not helping at all. As I close my eyes I   
let a small bitter smile grace my lips, because all of a sudden I   
realize what is happening to me.  
  
Two weeks ago a certain someone shattered my heart, and if it   
weren't for the fact that this man is my soul-mate... I suddenly   
start laughing sarcastically at my train of thought, because it is   
simply confusing, painful, and ludicrous all at the same time; I   
mean, how could Mamoru be my other half if he undoubtedly abhors   
being near me? And yet, is it possible to love him so much when he   
has hurt me countless times? Perhaps fate has merely played a   
cruel trick on the both of us, making him deal with an immature   
young girl and making me suffer with unrequited love.  
  
Nevertheless, even if we are not soul-bonded, the fact remains   
that if it had been anyone else I could have gotten over the pain.   
I tried to at first, but after several failed attempts I decided   
to give up and try instead to go on living. I shed tears every   
night, hoping that somehow they would help me forget, even if it   
was for just a little while, about the agony that seemed to   
constrict my chest, but every day that went by I felt as if a   
thousand daggers were piercing through my already bleeding heart.   
During all this time I must have determined to get rid of this   
anguish once and for all, because the rose that I had held in my   
hands this very afternoon finally made it possible. This merciful   
flower has helped me carry out what I had been so afraid of doing   
before. I now feel relieved, knowing that my torture will soon   
come to an end. And yet, there's still a part of me that doesn't   
want to surrender, that wants to fight against anything and   
anyone, even Death, as long as life doesn't slip out of its grasp.   
I know it will be sometime before my soul finally decides to   
welcome the eternal, sweet, and lethal embrace of Doom, but I'm in   
no hurry. I have already waited for two seemingly endless weeks, I   
think I can wait a couple of days more...  
  
Feeling somewhat drowsy, I let myself fall into a much needed   
slumber when I suddenly realize that my thoughts have begun to   
wander through the unknown paths of hope. Even though I'm not   
entirely sure of why I allowed them to do so I certainly have no   
intention of stopping them now.  
  
To be continued...  
  
Finished on: Wednesday July 7th, 1999. 9:40 PM  
Last revised: Sunday July 15th, 2001. 1:33 PM  
  
Author's notes: I DID make a small research in order to write this   
chapter, but since I'm not actually studying medicine and my   
resources were mainly teachers and a not so recent medical   
encyclopedia I might have said something inaccurate. If you notice   
this I would greatly appreciate it if you could correct me (with,   
of course, the backup of a resource I can personally check out).  
  
I'm really sorry if this chapter was awfully technical, but it was   
part of the storyline.  
  
** I really don't know if there's a hospital room that looks like   
this, but hey! they're gloomy enough, don't I have the right to   
make them a little bit more comfortable? ^_~  



End file.
